Act Now

“But if you become a member now you’ll get free upgrades, and I’m telling you right now — mark my words — that the next version of this thing, which by the way may not be available for purchase by non-members, the next version of this thing is going to blow you away. It’s going to do everything you asked me about today.”

“Yeah, but..”

“Sure, the current model isn’t perfect, but it’s not supposed to be. It’s for people who have vision — a vision of the future — forward thinkers that know that the only way to live and look is forward, you know? And like I said, the next model — the next five models! — they’re going to knock your socks off, and people who don’t get in now might not even have a chance — not a chance! — to get in. There you’ll be, sitting right here on your porch, iced tea in one hand and this thing in the other, knowing that you’ve got something wonderful coming your way. Knowing that because you accepted this invitation of membership today you set yourself up for a lifetime of sunny days.”


“It’s like this: do you like having things to look forward to? This is a real question, not one of those hypothetical mumbo-jumbo deals that you hear on the street. Do you like knowing that you have something great coming you way?”

“Well, I-”

“Of course! you do. And why wouldn’t you want to have that feeling everyday, right? For just a small annual processing fee, and of course the incredibly modest account creation service charge, you’ll live every day like it’s Christmas Eve! Every day! Sure, this may not seem like it solves all your problems right now, and it doesn’t — it’s not designed to! — but I know that doesn’t bother you because you’re a real forward thinker, a real visionary.”

“I mean, yeah, I usually-”

“Exactly! Because you’re smart enough to know, you’re smarter than that neighbor over there”


“-Right, Bill. Go ahead and wave to that guy, smile big too. Wave your neighborly wave knowing that he’ll never get the one-up on life that you’re about to get right now. Because this is a limited time membership and we just can’t allow everyone to join? Then everyone would be in line waiting for the next version — the next great! version — of this thing on the horizon, and that just wouldn’t work. Only you have the strength and courage and vision to see how important this moment is. The moment where you put your foot down and say to the world, ‘today is going to be the first day of my future. Yesterday was yesterday, and tomorrow is coming no matter what, and so today I say to you, world, here I am, living and breathing, and there’s nothing you can do to stop that.’ Am I right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think-”

“No no, enough of that, let’s just sign this thing and give each other a grand slap on the back, right buddy! OK then!”


“I’m telling you, buddy, you’re a special one, a real forward thinker. You won’t regret it. Today is the first day of a long series of realized tomorrows. You just wait and see.

“Yeah, I can’t wait un-”

“Right, exactly. Now, what was that neighbor’s name again?”


“Right. Bill. Well now, I’m just going to go over there right now – march myself right over there – and tell that Bill how he’s no where near as forward a thinker as you are..”